About two weeks ago I noticed a lump in Jackson's groin. With Jackson being so tall and thin, everything pokes out of his boney little body, so I dismissed it and really didn't think any thing of it. On Friday evening Jackson was getting into the shower and I noticed the lump and it was much larger and very hard. I was in a panic. The whole weekend I was sick to my stomach about what it could be. Then I thought maybe I was being crazy and it really wasn't anything at all. On Monday morning I called right away to get an appointment at the pediatricians office. We couldn't get in until 10:00am. Once we got to the doctors I was even more anxious. I went by myself because I thought if Todd came we would be making more out of it than we should (or so I told myself.) When the doctor came in the room I explained to him why we were there. He asked me a few general, light questions and then started to examine Jackson. With in seconds the doctors whole mood changed. He became very serious. He took measurements of Jackson lump, yes it was big enough to measure. He then examined Jacksons whole body. While doing this he was asking me questions about his appetite, if Jackson seemed tired, if I noticed any bruises on his body. He very carefully checked out Jackson's neck and under his arms. He then told me that the lump was an enlarger lymph node. He seemed very concerned. He then told me that Jackson needed to go to the lab downstairs to get blood taken and then head to Huron Valley Hospital to get a chest x-ray. I broke at the moment.This was serious. Deep down I really thought he was going to say it was a cyst and it would go away (I really didn't think he would say that, but I was really hoping) When he handed me the paperwork for the blood test and the chest it said STAT. He said that I needed to go right away and that he would talk to me with in two hours. When we were sitting in the lab downstairs Jackson was getting a bit worked up because he knew that they were going to stick a needle in him. I was so proud of him for how brave he was. He took it like a champ. As I sat there waiting my mind was going crazy and then it finally hit me like a ton of bricks...they we checking to see if my baby had cancer. At that moment I started making every deal with God that I possibly could. I also started talking to my Gram and told her that I really needed her to be Jackson's angel and help him through this.
As we headed to the hospital I called Todd and I put him into more of a panic as well. Jackson asked me why we had to go to the hospital and I explained to him that they just needed to check out a couple things to make sure he was healthy for kindergarten. When we got to the hospital Jackson thought it was great that he was there. He said, "This is such a fun adventure mom!" We checked in and then went and sat in the waiting room for Jackson to get his chest x-rays. When it was his turn he was very chatty with the man and asked tons of questions about all of the machines. Trying to get a five year old to stand still for an x-ray is almost impossible. Just as the man got Jackson in place and went behind the wall to take the x-ray, Jackson would turn and say something like, "Do you know I'm going to kindergarten?" or "I have a little sister at home." Finally the man was able to get all of the x-rays he needed. As he took the x-rays every scenario possible was going through my head...I was going to have to explain to Jackson that he was really sick...he wouldn't be going to kindergarten...I was going to have to take a leave from work...it was horrible. At that point I thought we would be free to go home. Oh no, we had to wait in the waiting room for the doctor to look at the x-rays, then he had to call Jackson's doctor and then Jackson's doctor would call me at the hospital. The man said it would take about 20 minutes or so. With in 5 minutes he was back in the waiting room to get me. In my head I was thinking that nothing good happens that fast. He took me in a room and sat me down next to a phone. He told me Jackson's doctor would be calling me with in a few minutes. Then I thought,I'm by myself and I could be getting the worst news of my life. When the phone rang I automatically started to cry. When I talked to the doctor he said that all of Jackson's blood tests came back good and his x-rays were clear...I could finally breathe again. He said that the "most serious" things he was looking for were not detected, although he never used the word cancer. He said that he would call me with in a few days and talk with me more in depth after the pathologist looked more at the results. As I walked out of the room and saw Jackson sitting and playing with his bag of Legos I brought for him, all I could do was sit om the floor and hold him. I called Todd and told him we were on our way home. On our way home Jackson says, "Mom, I know why they had to do all of that to me today. Last week after I went to the bathroom, I didn't wash my hands. Someone must have found out and they needed to make sure I was healthy." I love his way of thinking. When we got home, no words were needed between Todd and I.We just hugged and I cried.
That night we had tickets to the Tigers game. Both Jackson and Aubrin were very excited to go.
As we were getting ready I just kept crying, not being able to stop thinking about the day. 
The night was great. Aubrin entertained everyone in our section with her dance moves and Jackson impressed people with how he knew all of the players names and the correct terminology of the game.
My perspective on life changed last week. Little things that were important to me or things I complained about are no longer. The thought for one second that our little boy could be sick was enough to change my life forever.
Today I spoke with his doctor again. He said that he and the pathologist have gone over his blood test several times as well as his x-rays. He said they have ruled out Leukemia...he said it. He finally said it. He associated cancer and our son in the same sentence. He said that there was absolutely no sign of it. He went over all of Jackson's blood tests with me. Although that is great news, Jackson still has a very large lymph node. So now we wait. We wait another week and see it if goes down. If not, we will go back in next week to explore more. Today I could function with more ease than I have over the past week. I thank God for the beautiful family that we have.
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